So the FDA has officially declared the meat and milk from cloned animals to be safe for consumption. But what’s this? USDA is urging the industry to continue a voluntary moratorium on sales of milk or meat from cloned animals.  Could they possibly have our best interests at heart (read food safety)? Not really. This delay is all about marketing transitions, allowing we the consumer to get used to the idea of ingesting frankenburgers (that won’t be required to be labeled. …) And they neglected to ask for the moratorium to apply to milk or meat from the offspring of clones. 

Besides, there are economic reasons, too. Consider the cost of creating a clone: $10,000 to $20,000 per cow. That’s a lot more expensive than ordinary cows, which is why producers will likely use clones’ offspring for meat instead.

And yet, ethical and health concerns remain. Studies of cloned animals detail very low survival rates; the success rate of live, healthy animals through the cloning process is less than 5%. And at this time, there is little scientific information on the effects of eating meat or drinking milk from cloned animals or their offspring.  But the FDA says not to worry, since in their words most cloned animals seem to “grow out” of the problems they experience early in life.  Feeling reassured yet?

The good news is that some big companies like Dean Foods Co. and Hormel Foods Corp. have said they will not sell milk or meat from cloned animals due to consumer anxiety. Which makes business sense because in a recent industry survey, 62% of consumers said they would be “very unlikely” or “somewhat unlikely” to buy animal products from cloned animals anyway.  And since the government won’t require food from cloned animals to be labeled, food companies that are worried about a consumer backlash are going to have to declare themselves clone–free.

Big cloning and livestock genetic companies ViaGen, Inc., Cyagra, and stART Licensing are working with the Biotechnology Industry Organization to promote cloning through their new web site. It’s called CloneSafety.org, and boy is it informative!

For instance, I had always thought that cloning had serious health implications for the animals, with a success rate of live, healthy animals at less than 5%.

As it turns out, “clones are the ‘rock stars’ of the barnyard, and therefore are treated like royalty.”

Who knew?!?!??!?!?

Cow rock stars! Being a cow rock star is definitely worth the malformed brains, livers, spleens, lymph nodes and urogenital tracts that cloned cows, sheep and mice have been born with. Internal hemorrhaging, digestive problems, hydrocephalus, and multiple organ failure, which are some of the most common causes of death among cloned animals in the first week of life, would be a small price to pay for stardom!

A 2005 USDA study revealed that cloned pigs had weakened immune systems compared to normal pigs. I bet it was only because they were partying so hard. I mean, rock stars can really wear themselves down!

Thank you Viagen, Cyagra, start Licensing and Biotechnology Industry Organization. I don’t know what the world would do without your safety information and your fancy $170,000 cows.